HBR Guide to Better Business Writing (HBR Guide Series) by Bryan A. Garner

Author:Bryan A. Garner [Garner, Bryan A.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Harvard Business Review Press
Published: 2012-12-11T22:07:00+00:00

The first version is colossally ineffective—and if Glenda gets an internship it will be very much despite the message from her mentor. The writer is inconsiderate (suggesting that journalism is a thankless career), insensitive (confessing to having canceled her subscription), and horribly presumptuous (acting as if the recipient owes her for “always touting” the newspaper and for suggesting this “A-1” intern—as well as assuming that Glenda must get the job).

The second version is effective because it’s humble, you-centered, considerate (“No pressure here”), and mildly flattering (“I know you’ve been a mentor to many”). Though it’s a little longer than the first one, it gets to the point sooner, and it provides only helpful information. If Glenda has any real potential, she stands a decent chance of getting that interview and possibly landing an internship with this version.

You may occasionally need to reprimand someone in an e-mail—to clearly explain a misstep, to make a record of it, or both. Compare these two examples, which show the right and wrong way to deal with an employee who sent an offensive e-mail to the whole team:

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